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My livejournal account has been suspended.
Again. D:
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Crizal lenses suck. I cleaned them twice already today. One of the lenses somehow got a smudge on it again so I'll be cleaning them a third time.
Fuck allergies. This never ends. It makes me feel miserable. My eyes burn. I have a headache. Mucus everywhere. I need a good name brand OTC allergy medicine. This sucks. It's 80 out today and I can't enjoy it when I go outside because of how shitty I feel. I can barely smell.
Devils Night started at 2 and I won't be able to get there until close to 5 if I'm lucky.
I kind of just want to sleep.
Might take a Motrin.
I feel like shit.
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I feel like crying and puking at the same time.

I hate what this world is becoming.
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This is something I found on tumblr.
Tips for writing.

Do an outline, whatever way works best. Get yourself out of the word soup and know where the story is headed.

Conflicts and obstacles. Hurt the protagonist, put things in their way, this keeps the story interesting. An easy journey makes the story boring and boring is hard to write.

Change the POV. Sometimes all it takes to untangle a knotted story is to look at it through different eyes, be it through the sidekick, the antagonist, a minor character, whatever.

Know the characters. You can’t write a story if the characters are strangers to you. Know their likes, dislikes, fears, and most importantly, their motivation. This makes the path clearer.

Fill in holes. Writing doesn’t have to be linear; you can always go back and fill in plotholes, and add content and context.

Have flashbacks, hallucinations, dream sequences or foreshadowing events. These stir the story up, deviations from the expected course add a feeling of urgency and uncertainty to the narrative.

Introduce a new mystery. If there’s something that just doesn’t add up, a big question mark, the story becomes more compelling. Beware: this can also cause you to sink further into the mire.

Take something from your protagonist. A weapon, asset, ally or loved one. Force him to operate without it, it can reinvigorate a stale story.

Twists and betrayal. Maybe someone isn’t who they say they are or the protagonist is betrayed by someone he thought he could trust. This can shake the story up and get it rolling again.

Secrets. If someone has a deep, dark secret that they’re forced to lie about, it’s a good way to stir up some fresh conflict. New lies to cover up the old ones, the secret being revealed, and all the resulting chaos.

Kill someone. Make a character death that is productive to the plot, but not “just because”. If done well, it affects all the characters, stirs up the story and gets it moving.

Ill-advised character actions. Tension is created when a character we love does something we hate. Identify the thing the readers don’t want to happen, then engineer it so it happens worse than they imagined.

Create cliff-hangers. Keep the readers’ attention by putting the characters into new problems and make them wait for you to write your way out of it. This challenge can really bring out your creativity.

Raise the stakes. Make the consequences of failure worse, make the journey harder. Suddenly the protagonist’s goal is more than he expected, or he has to make an important choice.

Make the hero active. You can’t always wait for external influences on the characters, sometimes you have to make the hero take actions himself. Not necessarily to be successful, but active and complicit in the narrative.

Different threat levels. Make the conflicts on a physical level (“I’m about to be killed by a demon”), an emotional level (“But that demon was my true love”) and a philosophical level (“If I’m forced to kill my true love before they kill me, how can love ever succeed in the face of evil?”).

Figure out an ending. If you know where the story is going to end, it helps get the ball rolling towards that end, even if it’s not the same ending that you actually end up writing.

What if? What if the hero kills the antagonist now, gets captured, or goes insane? When your write down different questions like these, the answer to how to continue the story will present itself.

Start fresh or skip ahead. Delete the last five thousand words and try again. It’s terrifying at first, but frees you up for a fresh start to find a proper path. Or you can skip the part that’s putting you on edge – forget about that fidgety crap, you can do it later – and write the next scene. Whatever was in-between will come with time.
firewhispers: (ohio)
Out of K Cups so I didn't have coffee this morning.
Finally got out of bed at noon.
It's another nice day outside.
I want to go somewhere, do something.
I kinda want to go to the Tannery Dam. (is it dam or damn?)
Everyone (my family) will probably be too busy to do anything.
Fuck. I don't know what to do today.
I would walk to the park or Sheetz but I don't have a cane and the side walks are really bad. And I like the identification the cane gives me when I cross roads. It makes me feel more confident/comfortable.
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It's 85 degrees outside.
In September, in Pennsylvania.
Why am I wasting my time inside instead typing up my songs into a wordpad document and running a full windows defender scan on my computer?

I'm going to get dressed then open up all my windows and go outside and do...something.
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I've been in good moods for the past 2 or 3 days now.
Last night, I was typing in Devin is... Into the google search engine. What came up was fucking hilarious. I'll do an entry with what came up later.
I have at least 4 songs I wrote saved in my phone. I have lots of notes saved. I don't use that pages thing.
I want new/more books to read. In ninth grade, I read books like Twisted, Speak, Smack, Cut, Go Ask Alice, and Sara Dessen books were my guilty pleasure. Twisted was my favorite book and I want to read it again. I want to read Prozac Nation too. I'm not sure if the public library would have books like these or not.
Also, book titles make good band names.
I'm not sure what to really update about right now.
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I took half a clonazepam a few hours ago because I was so upset and I felt like I was about to have a panic attack. It made me really sleepy. :/
I don't know what to make for dinner.
I went outside and sat up in the bleachers at showers field. That's my new favorite spot. I wrote a journal entry and a song that turned out sort of ok.
A bunch of people came and they were skating on the side walks and down the stairs. I wanted to skate with them but I didn't know them and felt too fucked up from the clonazepam to skate.
I'm so lame. I wish I would skated with them even though I really suck at it. I was nervous they would judge me or make fun of me.
I want to sleep...........
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I feel like there's something missing in my life and I can't exactly figure out what.
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My images are now suddenly locked? What's going on? They were viewable yesterday, now it's a blue box thing. What the hell is going on?
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I want to walk around downtown and take pictures of anything and everything.
I want to go a different way than I usually do on the walk way.
I wish I had friends to take stupid/random pictures and videos with.
I want to go to Devils Night next month.
I want to grow a beard. Or side burns.
I want to learn how to tailor.
I want to move out of DuBois.
I want to dye my hair black again.
I want to practice so I don't completely suck at playing guitar.

I want to play bass in an actual band!
I want to play bass in a screamo/emo band, play shows anywhere we can, meet other musicians and kids, get pictures and videos taken of us, and make awesome music even if we don't make any money from it. I don't want to be famous. I just want people to know that I exist.
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I haven't practiced bass in a while. At least a week.
I have thoughts about just giving up being a musician and quitting. But then I don't know what else I would do.

It makes me sad that my 20s are going by and I'm doing nothing I've dreamed I would be doing. Nothing I hoped I would have done or accomplished. I'm still living in this shit hole dying town that makes me miserable.

I wish I knew if better times were ahead.
This year has just been awful.
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Last night, I google'd experimental screamo and I found this one band- My Own Private Alaska. They are so fucking good. This song is amazing. If I start a band, I hope we sound similar to this.

On another note, I'm a little bummed that my To Write Love On Her Arms shirts aren't coming in the mail today.

I update this a lot.
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Is it really September already?
Crazy shit how fast this year has went.
The past two years flew right by me.
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I want to get back into writing poetry again.
Good poetry, not the horrid shit I wrote and called poetry when I was 14/15.
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"Please note that Abuse Prevention Team is not obliged to send you an email notification on the reason of your journal's suspension."
Really, livejournal? Really?
This really pisses me off.
firewhispers: (Default)
Livejournal suspended my account.
Fuck you!
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I just went to check the weather and supposedly my county and a bunch of others are under a severe thunderstorm watch. The alert was posted 45 minutes ago.
It's currently 84 degrees out and sunny.
Wtf weather?
I'm starting to second guess whether or not to go on a walk.
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Last night, I found out Chester Bennington, the singer of Linkin Park died. He committed suicide. While I was never really into Linkin Park, this made me very sad. Depression and suicide are very serious and very real. Rest easy, Chester. You will be missed by many.
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I ate way too much white cheddar popcorn and had a Degrassi marathon yesterday. I watched the episode when Craig's dad died and it made me really sad.
I haven't logged onto LJ in a few weeks and I'm a little paranoid to while I'm at my parents house. I'm worried about getting a virus from that site. Is LJ still safe to be on even though the servers are in Russia? I have some LJ comments to reply to and I'll get to them soon. I've been learning about ransom ware too and that really isn't helping with me being paranoid. I accidentally clicked on an ad on LJ and I almost shit my pants, it really freaked me out.
I'm going to keep this entry public. Not sure why.


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